


Fall For You

by NotEvenCloseToStraight



Series: Playlist [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Divorce, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fall For You, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Making Up, Song fic, Steve Rogers Feels, Stony - Freeform, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 15:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20585018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotEvenCloseToStraight/pseuds/NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary: (Tony and Steve meet to sign divorce papers but neither is ready to let go)********Tony kept his head down as he signed, unable to look up and meet Steve’s blue eyed, heart breaking gaze. He had every right to be angry, every right to demand a divorce, every right to scream and rage at Steve and every right to break every damn thing in this stupid apartment. He had every right to– every right to–Tony’s hand shook and he took a deep breath, trying to still the tremors.The signature was so permanent, every initial, every page turn another nail in the coffin that had been their marriage, every blot of ink another blow at the love that had linked them together. The love and the trust and the happiness–“Hey hey hey.” Steve knelt in front of Tony and took the file away, and it was only then Tony realized he was crying, smudging the ink with his tears. “Sweetheart, please don’t– please don’t cry. This isn’t what I wanted, baby. I never wanted to make you cry, I never wanted–” he blew out a shaky breath. “Please don’t cry.”





	Fall For You

{{Based on [**FALL FOR YOU**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEXDDyb6t2o) by Secondhand Serenade}}

“The only good thing about tonight is that we’re not fighting.” Tony said bitterly, scribbling his initials down the page before turning it over. “Can you believe we used to co exist like this?”

“It wasn’t co existing, Tony.” Steve sounded nothing but worn out as he took the file and marked his initials next to Tony’s on the line. “We were in love.” 

“Yeah, what a weird fucking time that was.” Tony tapped his own pen against his thigh, a drumming rhythm fraught with irritation and impatience. “Hurry up please, I don’t want to be here.” 

“Tony.” Steve’s pen stilled on the page, his knuckles white from clenching it so tight. “I know you don’t think that I’m trying, but–” 

“Just sign it, Steve.” 

Tony got up from the couch and started to pace, digging his fingers into his hair and walking the same length of carpet he’d walked over and over back when they still lived together, back when he wore Steve’s ring on his finger, back when Steve been Tony’s entire world. 

Back then Tony had paced as he worked out equations, paced as he talked through presentations out loud, paced as he spent a hilarious amount of hours factoring in all the variables of any given situation so he could figure out exactly which place to put the Christmas tree–

_Christ_, that had to be Steve’s favorite memory of Tony. Their first Christmas and Tony had put so much effort into making sure the apartment was perfectly decorated and the tree the exact angle to best show off the decorations. He had rewired the fan to switch out the light and nearly fried himself with an electric shock and Steve had laughed until he cried and then taken Tony to the shower and washed the fuzz and ceiling plaster away and then they had–

–The paper tore when Steve scribbled a little too hard and Tony’s pacing faltered. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, sounding nicer than he had all night, nicer than he had in months. “Steve I– I know this isn’t– I mean, this isn’t easy on me either.” 

“I know.” Steve swallowed hard and held out the file. “Your turn.” 

He got up to stand by the window when Tony sat back down to sign the next page, the four or five yards between them somehow longer than a mile for as far away as Steve felt. 

Tony kept his head down as he signed, unable to look up and meet Steve’s blue eyed, heart breaking gaze. He had every right to be angry, every right to demand a divorce, every right to scream and rage at Steve and every right to break every damn thing in this stupid apartment. He had every right to– every right to–

Tony’s hand shook and he took a deep breath, trying to still the tremors. 

The signature was so permanent, every initial, every page turn another nail in the coffin that had been their marriage, every blot of ink another blow at the love that had linked them together. The love and the trust and the happiness–

“Hey hey hey.” Steve knelt in front of Tony and took the file away, and it was only then Tony realized he was crying, smudging the ink with his tears. “Sweetheart, please don’t– please don’t cry. This isn’t what I wanted, baby. I never wanted to make you cry, I never wanted–” he blew out a shaky breath. “Please don’t cry.” 

“You don’t get to ask me not to do things.” Tony whispered and Steve hung his head. “Not anymore.” 

“You’re right.” Steve pushed back to his feet and went back to the window, hiding his breaking heart by staring out into the night. “I’m sorry.” 

When it was time for Steve to sign again, Tony folded over on the couch, wrapping his arms around his waist and closing his eyes and Steve stared down at the blank line waiting for his signature for a long time without moving. 

“Sign it.” Tony whispered, hoarse and broken and almost begging. “Sign it, Steve. Do it. It’s what you want, right? To not be married anymore? Otherwise you wouldn’t have–” 

“This is not what I want.” Steve whispered back. “It’s what you want. I never said– it was a mistake and I’ll regret it forever but I never said I didn’t want you anymore, that I didn’t love you anymore.” 

“If you think I ever wanted to sign my fucking name for divorce proceedings you obviously don’t know me at all.” The words were brittle. “Steve, I–I don’t want this. I never wanted this. I told you I was gonna love you forever and I meant it. I don’t want this.” 

Steve kept staring down at the unsigned line, unable to make his fingers move. “I thought you did. I thought you wanted– thought you needed–” he shook his head. “I didn’t think you wanted to try anymore.” 

“I told you I didn’t think we would make it through this and you said okay.” Tony was clicking his pen on and off, on and off, over and over because he couldn’t stay still. “You just said okay and backed off. Let me move out, you didn’t fight to keep me, you didn’t fight to make me stay. Why didn’t you fight for me, Steve? Why didn’t you– you fight for everything. Take on all those big companies for environmental issues and protest at the Supreme Court but me? You couldn’t– you fight for _me_?” 

“I didn’t know you wanted me to fight for you.” Steve finally managed to sign, the letters spindly and shaky. “You told me not to come after you. Told me to not contact you.” 

“And you were so happy to let me go, weren’t you?” Tony was up and pacing again, wiping at tears. “Just that easy? Stayed here at home and–”

“…I sat outside Pepper’s apartment every night for a week.” Steve set the file aside and put his pen down, looking up and meeting Tony’s tear filled eyes. “Every night for a _week_, Tony. Trying to find the fucking courage to knock and see you and I– I was scared.” 

“Why were you scared?” Tony burst out. “What’s so scary about _me_, Steve? It’s me! We’ve been in love since high school and you just– you just–” he folded his arms and hunched his shoulders again. “Why were you scared? How hard could it have been to knock and ask me to come home?”

“Would you have come home if I asked?” Steve flung back and Tony stopped, mouth open, no answer to give. “See?” Steve nodded jerkily. “That’s what I was scared of. Terrified. I thought if I gave you time then we could talk, but if I pushed, I’d lose you. I was scared.” 

He handed the file over to Tony. “Good reason, too, cos the next time you saw me, you were handing me these. Did you– are we–” Steve took a deep breath. “Is this because I didn’t come after you? I made a mistake waiting and now we’re doing– we’re doing this? Now I’m losing you?” 

“You should have asked me to come home.” Tony’s breath hitched. “I– I think I would have come home. But now it’s been like three months and–” 

“–and what?” Steve stood to his feet and took a hesitant step closer to Tony, the first bit of hope flaring in his heart. “And what, honey?” 

“–and my blanket isn’t even on the bed anymore.” Tony gestured lamely towards the bedroom. “And my clothes aren’t in the closet. And–” 

“It’s laundry day, your blanket is in the wash with the sheets.” Steve took another step forward, his heart twisting anxiously when Tony didn’t move away. “And your suits are nice, so I put them away in garment bags in the spare bedroom in case you wanted to take them. I didn’t get rid of– of anything. Nothing, sweetheart. You’re still here, this is still your apartment. Our apartment.” 

“You should have asked me to come home.” Tony said again, and this time he backed away. “Is it my turn to sign?” 

“Yeah.” Steve swallowed back the _agony _clawing at his throat. “Yeah, it is.” 

“Kay.” Tony didn’t pick up his pen, nor did he turn the page to the next waiting line. “Okay, it’s my turn to sign.” 

Silence in the living room as neither one of them moved.

“It’s my turn to sign.” Tony said again, and the pen stayed at the table side. “….Steve. I promised myself– I swore I wouldn’t do this, that I wouldn’t fall apart but–” 

“Come here.” Steve was there in an instant, tossing away the file and gathering Tony into his arms instead. “Tonytonytony–” 

Neither of them was sure which took the first step towards the bedroom, but Tony’s shirt came off first followed quickly by Steve’s jacket and then a scattering of buttons as Tony ripped the Oxford right open. 

“Come here.” It was so easy for Steve to pick Tony up, to toss him on the bed like he’d done a hundred– a _thousand_– other times, to set him against the pillows and crawl up the blankets to crush their mouths together and Tony met him with a sob, digging his fingers into Steve’s side and begging him not to let go. 

“I’m never letting go.” Steve rasped, mouths and fingers everywhere, desperate to touch Tony, desperate to remember all the things he knew he’d never forget. “Tony, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry–” 

“I feel like those words don’t mean anything anymore.” Tony whispered and their next kiss tasted of tears and _grief _and all the apologies Steve had tried to make that weren’t going to do any good. 

“Tony–” 

“Don’t.” Tony said fiercely, yanking at Steve’s belt. “Don’t say it again, words don’t– they don’t mean anything. Words are cheap, they’re cheap just–just–” 

He stopped and Steve stopped too, their foreheads pushed together and breathing harsh and fingers still holding far too tight considering the papers that were half signed in the other room. 

“I’m going to love you again tonight.” Tony whispered and Steve surged forward to kiss him, rolling them in the bed until Tony was straddling his waist and staring down with bright, scared eyes. “I’m gonna– I’m gonna fall for you again. I will. And I can’t do that. You broke my heart. You broke my heart but I can’t help falling for you all over again.” 

“Fall for me.” Steve whispered, asked, _begged_. “Tony please– _please_–I love you–” 

“-_-I love you_–” 

“–and I’m yours.” Steve smoothed his thumbs over Tony’s cheeks. “I’m yours if you want to keep me, sweetheart. Please.” 

“If I love you again, you can’t make me change my mind.” Tony bent down and hid his face in Steve’s chest. “Don’t make me change my mind. I can’t do this again, I can’t take it again, I can’t–” 

“You won’t change your mind.” Steve wove his fingers into Tony’s hair and lifted him until they were staring at each other again. “I won’t let you change your mind. I’ll do anything– _anything_. I’m not going to lose you again, Tony. You– a man like you, you’re impossible–” Tony laughed brokenly and Steve kissed him again. “– you’re impossible to find, do you understand? You’re beautiful and you’re perfect and I will never find another like you, it’s impossible. _Impossible_. Fall for me again.” 

“I never stopped falling.” Tony closed his eyes and Steve held him tighter. “Oh god, I never stopped.” 

**********

The file was still scattered across the living room floor when Tony got up the next morning, his steps slow as he tiptoed across the carpet and retrieved his jacket. He was exhausted from crying, sore because Steve had listened to every plea of _don’t stop_ and _don’t let go_ and the sun had been coming up before they’d broke from one last kiss and drifted off into oblivion. 

Tony picked up the papers and rearranged them, the emptiness of all the lines they hadn’t signed glaring out at him in the early morning light. 

There would be another day, they could try another time to get it finished and–

“Tony.” Steve stood in the doorway of the bedroom a sheet wrapped around his waist and trailing on the floor, his hair messy and eyes suspiciously bright. “Don’t go.” 

“Steve.” Tony’s hand was already on the knob, the door open a few inches. “We should– last night was–” 

“Tony.” Steve came to his side and took the file, tossed it in the trash. “Don’t go. I failed you but I have loved you forever and I’ll spend forever trying to fix this. _Please_.” 

Steve held his breath, held onto Tony, held onto any last scrap of hope that maybe maybe he hadn’t lost the only thing good in his entire world. 

“You know, a guy like you is pretty impossible to find too.” Tony said quietly–

–and shut the door. 


End file.
